What if....

Only TWO WEEKS now......

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:29:43 GMT

Until Bush is OUT OF OFFICE....

and I can't believe that former President George H. W. Bush (the soon-to-be ex president's father) is already backing his other son, Jeb Bush, to be president someday. Like we need yet another eight years of the same politics! I think the American people know better as proven by the election of Obama. We want CHANGE and we want it now, dernit!

So now it's just 14 days until the current George W. Bush is out of office!

Coming back to LiveJournal

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 05:31:56 GMT

Okay, so I found my old Live Journal, which was sad and abandoned for a long time.

Updates - I'm living in a transitional housing situation where I ended up after a long and arduous mental health battle. I have a different boyfriend now than when I wrote in here a year ago. His name is Chris, and he's wonderful. I'm trying to go back to school this fall on short notice so that I can get my Special Educator's Credential. This week I will ask my conservator (for I'm under county conservatorship) whether I can get funds released to go to school in time to meet the deadline. I'm excited and nervous at the same time, hence the trouble sleeping which lead me to seek out Live Journal past my usual bed time.

That is all.

thru d blu

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 08:54:25 GMT

thru d blu
u see me
thru d gr33n
u see st4rz
thru d nite
u see rain
thru whIte
u see pale

pale reflection in the mirror
is the ghost of an illusion of a smithed
wrought iron
no knowing where the rowing
leads to showing
who u b

582 days unTIL...

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 14:57:04 GMT

Bush is pushed out of office.

AH ah.

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 13:04:04 GMT

I woke up really hungry but I don't have much food. I'm out of raisins. I have cereal but no milk. Is it okay to eat rice krispies without milk? They are the generic kind but still show a recipe for krispie marshmallow treats, so I figure they're the real deal.

I have a few sunflower seeds. That's not so substantial, but it might tide me over.

I'm trying desperately not to eat out too much. I did yesterday at Panda Express, which I'm starting to think is a disgusting place.

I can't believe it...

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:02:57 GMT

I went the whole day without realizing it was Father's Day today. Every other year, I've had a breakdown around this time and/or around April 5th, my father's birthday. The reason is that there's a aniversery effect even years later after a loved one passes on, and especially in my dad's case, because he was such a pivotal figure in my life.

I might regret slightly not going to church this week, but he didn't like my church anyway. He thought it wasn't a real religion since we had no core beliefs. That's just as well.

I just started thinking about him randomly a few minutes ago, like I often do, even without remembering it was Father's Day. One MySpace bulletin reminded me, and then I realized I thought of him right at the right time. I do it anyway so it's not like it's fortuitous, but it's good to remember.

I want to be a better person so that just in case Heaven really is a place and not a state of mind, I can go there and see him again. He's always there anyway because I dream of him often. He always tells me he's still alive but I'm the only one who can see him. He is still alive and helping me and leading me to do good things. Even when I do bad things, he doesn't get as angry as he did in life. He had a very harsh temper, and there was no crossing him when he had his mind set to something. Most of my mother's family could not get along with him, and so we were alienated from them during his life. I visited my cousins occasionally, and I saw my grandfather once in a blue moon, but not too often considering we only lived three hours away. Life happens that way, and there's no stopping it, I suppose.

Time does not heal all wounds, but all wounds don't need to be healed.

[edit] Here's a link to a website devoted to celebrating holidays one day at a time, today featuring Father's Day.

I'm so boring.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 06:34:11 GMT

So, marbled_clouds, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 0% unique and 16% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy walking). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 14

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 26% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

Iliketypinglikethisdontyou?

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 06:08:43 GMT

wow, man, that last entry was a dense little paragraph all on cleaning.

Okay, so the other thing is.......oh I can't remember. Poot. Sleepformethen. Goodnight.

splish splash

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 06:05:25 GMT

About half or two-fifths or so of my cleaning was done(by me). Now, tomorrow morning (whenever my body decides that is), I'm bringing books I don't need down to the garage to keep until I move. Next, I'm putting the laundry I left in the laundryroom (against the rules, but no one follows 'em) in the machine before anyone else gets a chance to steal it. Next, I'm taking a shower while that goes, then getting dressed and starting the dryer and the next load (hoping no one has stolen it yet, and I've got quarters). Then finish dishes, then dry and put them away, collect any loose paperwork, put excess boxes somewhere discrete, make a finale onceove of my bedroom floor before emptying out the dust from the vacuum and vacuuming everything. Finally, I'll give the bathroom the most thorough cleaning it's had since I've been there, also picking up all the stuff from the counter around the sink. lalala, yeah, I don't really have a choice about it, you realize. Of course, I get a deduction on anything I'd have to pay in deposit based on having lived here a year, but I want to make sure that deduction is subtracted from the smallest possible amount (hopefully zero, in which case it's a moot point).

List

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 23:46:53 GMT

Someone told me to start making lists of things to do and then do them all without hesitation. That would make my life easier, less thinking about all the things hanging over my head.

So here's a simple list:

Cleaning my house.

1. Put all dirty clothes in one or more hampers/bags. Set in one spot together until laundry machines are vacant for my own use.
2. Do the dishes.
3. Clean the counters.
4. Sweep the floor.
5. Mop the floor.
6. Take out the trash.
7. Take out any recycling.
8. Empy the vacuum.
9. Vacuum the bedroom and livingroom rugs.
10. Clean the bathroom.

I'll see how far I get before I get lazy (or don't).

I'm a Socialist, eh?

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 20:15:50 GMT

You Are 8% Capitalist, 92% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.

As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.

You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

my mom and brother are the same person?! freaky~~

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 06:15:47 GMT

Wow man.

If anyone out there is in the advice-giving mood....

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 05:45:55 GMT

here are a few (real) scenarios.....

1. I have a boyfriend in New York whom I never see. He may move out here soon, for real, and then it would be a more real life relationship. Time will only tell.

What I need advice with is the extent I should be wrapped up in things with him. Right now, I even have my cell phone attached to his. We have separate minutes but are connected. It's a bit weird. In any event, I feel like we've crossed some lines most people would recognize from a casual relationship to seriousness although we've only been around each other in person once.

I have known him for five years, going on six....

I know the decision is my own, but I want an outiside opinion to know if what I'm doing is crazy....

2. How can I stop self destructive behavior, namely binging and sleeping all day and crap like that? I hate myself when I do it and love myself when I don't, yet I do it anyway.. Why?!

3. How come I keep making resolutions to change my life but never DO IT??

binging

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 05:21:42 GMT

I hate when I do it. So why do I?

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 00:17:17 GMT

I'm waiting for my friend Sierra to take me to her church's Hawaiian luao (sp?) party. I just took a shower, and I cleaned off the gunky shiny stuff I had on my nails. It was chipping and I don't really need it.

I still haven't finished this friggin assignment. Harrumph. I guess I'll e-mail Bill about it and maybe we can meet when I go up to MPC sometime next week.

My meds are still making me very tired even when I get up and exercise. I always feel like I need to sleep by the middle of the day. Argh.

Dance classes

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 22:56:18 GMT

I went to Jazz Conditioning this morning, and in a little bit, I'm leaving to go to Jazz and Hip Hop dance. I'm also going to go back to MPC at around 9am and go swimming for the first time in a while. I'll commit myself to doing a few laps at first, maybe between 5 and 10. Maybe I'll stick with two main strokes, like back and freestyle and then also paddleboard kicking. I hope to increase the laps every time I go.

My apartment inspection is next week. When I get home tonight and also tomorrow after swimming, I'm going to get busy with the cleaning again. I have lots and lots of boxes now, probably more than I need, so I'll get crackalackin.

:-)

stepping stones

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:00:04 GMT

I'm gradually getting ready to move. I've moved a bit of stuff down to the garage, and just now I went and got some boxes at the dollar store. I'm not exactly sure when I'm moving, since it will depend on when my landlady finds someone. I know it will be by the end of the month.

At first, I was worried that I would get dependent on this "structure living" environment so that I would not learn the basics of taking care of myself. Finally, I've decided that even with this plan, there are ways that I can be responsible for myself. I can start small if I have to and work up. I can take on little responsiblities, little by little. Slowly but surely, I hope to get used to an organized and clean environment where my medication is consistent and my daily routine has some consistency as well. Once that happens, I might actually pull some of the loose ends together that have been hanging out there for a long time. I need to get a copy of my birth certificate and social security card and finally get a new copy of my state ID. Once all that happens, I can begin seriously considering if I want a job, if I want to continue with school or what.

Another thing I need to make sure of is that I stay in charge of my own life. Despite the fact that others are helping me, I should still be the one to make decisions for myself. As a friend told me, if I hit a brick wall at 60 mph, I want to be the reason I did.

Shower Survey

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 05:03:46 GMT

My Answers to Survey
Shower Survey

1 - Do you shower in the morning or evening?	*Morning mostly*
2 - Do you use liquid or bar soap?	*Bar right now, but I like liquid too*
3 - Do you use shampoo and conditioner or just shampoo?	*Both*
4 - Do you brush your teeth in the shower?	*No, who does?*
5 - Do you shave in the shower?	*Yes*
6 - Do you sing in the shower?	No
7 - Do you use a washcloth?	No
8 - Do you have a door or a curtain on your shower?	*Door*
9 - Have you every taken a call in the shower?	No
10 - Have you ever showered in your swimsuit?	*Yes, but only in a public locker room settingq*
11 - Have you ever showered with a member of the same sex?	*Yes, when I was very young.*
12 - Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?	*Yes.*
13 - Do you share a bathroom with someone?	No
14 - Do you listen to the radio in the shower?	No
15 - Do you wear a shower cap?	No
16 - Do you wash behind your ears?	*Yes*
17 - Describe your shower in three words	*Hot, wet, and squeaky*
18 - What one thing would you change about your shower?	*I wish I had some better smelling soap*
19 - What would make your shower time better for you?	*Having a new shaver*
20 - What celebrity would you like to shower with?	*None*
21 - What celebrity would you NOT like to shower with?	*None*
22 - What is the one thing you can't do without in your shower?	*Water*
23 - What is the oddest thing that has happened to you in the shower?	*One time recently I found a dime*
24 - What is the best thing that has happened to you in the shower?	*Um, I don't know*
25 - When was the last time you showered?	*This morning*
26 - When are you going to take a shower next?	*Tomorrow morning*

Myspace Surveys provided by QuizCat.com - Visit
for more surveys, Myspace quizzes, tests and trivias...

crazy lil mina

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 21:08:19 GMT

I've been writing loads of poetry. I've also been getting ready to leave in a month. I'm going to Marina to "structured living". It's a bit unorthodox of a plan, but so be it. I've always been unorthodox since I was a kid. I was told I would crawl backwards. I came out of my mother feet first. I was nearly dead although I was not premature. They said that I had an apgar (measurement they do with newborns) score of one. That means I was barely alive. Yet I survived.

Later in my life I would keep getting injured. I got a large door slammed against my head, but I was fine. I barely cried. I barely cried according to my parents except just to communicate. They tried to give me soy or rice milk at one point, but I didn't take to that until I was already weaned. Besides, I weaned much later than most children.

I won't go on and embarrass myself pointing out my strangeness. Let's just say there's been probably no single event in my life that occurred the same way as everyone else experiences it. I don't suppose that will ever change.

Correspondence from Congressman Sam Farr (from being on the e-mail list)

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:06:30 GMT

May 31, 2007

Ms. Wilma [last name]

[address deleted for safety]

Dear Wilma:

Like you, I am deeply disappointed the President refused to modify his position on the Iraq war, despite the fact that Americans overwhelming oppose his "stay the course" position. I could not give him a blank check to continue the war in Iraq, so I voted 'no' and opposed the war funding supplemental, which sadly passed by a vote of 280-142 (Roll Call 425).

There is no doubt that Iraq has fallen into a civil war, and despite the best efforts of our men and women in uniform, there is no military solution to the current conflict. The solution in Iraq is political, not military, yet the Administration has refused to negotiate with Congress on any benchmarks or timelines that would have put political pressure on the Iraqi government to take concrete steps towards peace. I am offended by the Administration's recent statement: "If we let up, we'll be attacked." Our troops have already been attacked and are being killed in Iraq everyday. Tragically, the death toll for US soldiers now stands at 3,434, and President Bush has warned the American people to expect a bloody summer. I strongly believe that America needs to defend herself from a future attack. But the invasion of Iraq and the subsequent occupation has, according to the Administration's own National Intelligence Estimate, created more terrorists and more anti-American sentiment than before September 11.

When the Defense Department Authorization (HR 2237) was debated recently, I supported an amendment that would have started the drawdown of US troops in Iraq. Unfortunately, the amendment failed by a vote of 255 to 171 (Roll Call 330).

Despite the House Leadership's best efforts to end the war, the bottom line is that governance requires responsibility, and the House of Representatives acted responsibly to fund the troops. President Bush may have won some breathing room until September when military commanders can assess the results of the surge strategy, but you can be assured that the Democratic Majority will continue to support the American people in their opposition to the war. Please be assured that I will continue to fight to bring our troops home as quickly and safely as possible.

Sincerely,

SAM FARR

Member of Congress

Please be sure to visit my website at www.farr.house.gov

Glow worm

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 03:01:50 GMT

I'm just crowned tonight
I can't believe I've begun
Fight through the evernight
I've gone above and beyond
I'm seen the road at every bend
I'm walking down the line
I'm feeling quite sublime

This whole road is so surreal
My turning feet go straight but wrong
Spinning in straight lines
Oxymoronic.

Father's Day Poem

Thu, 31 May 2007 00:34:23 GMT

Father, father
Burning bright
In the shadow of the night

Father, father
Can you hear
Every question
Every fear?

Father, father
Can you breathe
While you're drowning
in this sea?

Father, father
Can you call
And brush away
The road for all?

Father, father
Never fear
Never wonder
Never cry

Don't wish today
Don't wish tomorrow
Were any different
Than yesterday

I dreamed about my dad again.

Wed, 30 May 2007 16:47:04 GMT

I always dream about him, even to this day. It has been at least four, maybe five years since his demise, and it is still as fresh in my memory as the day it happened. For a long while, my memory had dismissed all events prior to his death. I believe I walled it all off to avoid the pain of the many times that I fell crying while my parents fought. I had no room of my own, so I witnessed it all, and eventually I ended up counseling them with the very tools that my father had invented in his own philosophy, which he dubbed with the title of Modern Aspectivism.

In my dream, he had very long hair, past his waste. He had the same beard that he had in real life but longer as well. Later, he appeared to have shaved clean, cut his hair and donned a suit and tie. The only strange thing was that his tie was on backwards and hung from his back. I never once saw my father when he was clean shaven. All my life he had his beard, so this dream seems a bit peculiar.

In all of my dreams about my father, he appears to be alive as he ever was and saying that either he is still alive and everyone else but me doesn't know it or that he is alive and will appear although everyone believes he is dead. Either is a second coming of sorts or he just feigned death to get people's attention.

Of course, I know for a fact that he did die. I saw his dead corpse myself that night, and it was white as a ghost. They had not put the sheet over him then, and it was the scariest, saddest thing I had ever witnessed. That night I didn't cry, and I don't believe I have ever outright cried over his death. I was partially in shock and partially heavily medicated. I exclaimed monotonously, "Dead dad, dead dad, dead dad." I was also angry at him for leaving me when I had just left the hospital, the very one that I had to visit when he died. He hated hospitals, and it is a shame that he had to die in one, because according to my mother, he may not have been completely dead when she found him on the floor.

I cannot imagine how my mother can live in that house with the memory of where he died haunting her night and day. He died where my own bed used to be, and whenever I sit on the couch that now occupies that space, I cannot help but think about it. That was also where my bed was, and sometimes when I used to have trouble sleeping, I would go there. It was comforting somehow.

Maybe it has something to do with Father's Day rolling around again. You would think I might have gotten over all of that, but no, I suppose I never truly will.

Spring

Wed, 16 May 2007 01:51:28 GMT

div style="width: 285px">

You Are Spring

You're energetic and creative. You're the curious type and you love a good adventure. Whether you're throwing around a ball or taking a walk, you're truly a spring person.

What season are you?

MySpace Quizzes at PimpSurveys.com

</div>

I always thought my name was more rare than this...

Wed, 16 May 2007 00:34:03 GMT

wilma is the #212 most common female name.
0.099% of females in the US are named wilma.
Around 126225 US females are named wilma!
source namestatistics.com

Whenever I tell someone my name, they almost always say they've never met someone with that name. If they don't, they precede to tell me the name of someone who had it and how they were surprised to meet another one, especially someone so young.